Cross Country Runners Aren’t Even Hefty, Bro

So, it’s that time of the year when the weather could be anything from blissfully warm and sunny, when even the least-fratty individuals feel the urge to go “Suns-Out, Guns-Out.” Or nice, fresh and cool, when you could probably get by with a nice long-sleeve shirt or a quarter-zip jacket. To be more specific, the awesome quarter-zip jackets that the track team ordered. I’ll paint the scene for you: I show up to practice. It’s a great day out. I see the jackets laid out, sunbathing like flat, red-and-white cotton Dri-Fit seals, just ready for us to pay for and wear with pride. I walk up to my fellow teammate, money in hand, like a pumped-up kid getting ice cream. He sees me coming, and his face falls, like I’m the harbinger of death. I think to myself, in my head, “Man…I’m not getting that jacket, am I?” Turns out, in the ordering process, a group of jackets for the distance team had come in as the wrong size. I’m all like:

You’re kidding, right? Bro…

Although unfortunate, these things do happen, and it would be unreasonable to be irritated at the company.

Except that the distance team’s jackets came in as Extra-Larges.

What? Surely those are meant for some of the giant, ripped throwers right? The ones that make distance runners look like walking sticks working out with Hulk Hogan? Nope. These have the word “Distance” written on the back. You’ve got to wonder just what was going on in the head of whoever actually printed that word onto the jackets.

Slap a race bib on this guy and you’ve got the idea, right?

Perhaps they misunderstood “Distance” as the expanse between the right arm and left arm. I suppose XL and XC, the universal abbreviation for Cross Country, are fairly similar as well.

The bottom line is that I got to watch everyone else wearing their new, awesome jackets while I was rocking my depressingly-average gray sweatshirt. Luckily, we are re-ordering and getting ours next week, so sometime in the next 10 days I will be a very happy individual.

On a side note, the tank I ordered 10 days ago hasn’t shown up either. This is what I get for wanting new clothes.

Team Bandana, always,

Bode

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