Oh hey there,
Like it or not it’s me again. Round these parts, pronunciation is a little different. For example: senator, blogger, and actor (and calendar) have a different vowel combined with r, but in all cases these words are pronounced with the phoneme found in the word turd. Here at Wabash, I am fortunate to be the first three words listed (and also very fortunate to be neither of the last two) ((this is a second afterthought, hence the two parenthesis, I’m also very thankful to not be a combination of the last two–12 months of poop would be terrible)). Tonight was the first Student Senate meeting of the year, and at 7 pm I was sitting next to fellow Class of 2016 Representatives Fabian House, Adam Alexander, and Tyrone “Puddin Pop” Evans in the Goodrich Room of the library.
Following the trend set by Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden yesterday, President Jeremy Wentzel and Vice President Seton Goddard were sworn in today as the newly elected leaders of our student body. I wasn’t sure of what to expect in the first meeting: I did dress nicely with a tie (and just in case you’re wondering Dad, Yes I did tie my own tie and so what if Jordan helped me, I’m an adult, and a senator. And no, I still don’t have a job, so quit your bitchin. Love you). As I was saying, I was looking rather dapper, and I was prepared to take the oath of the senate along with all the other serving members, but I did not expect to be appointed to a special position. After the President’s suggested appointees for Treasurer, Secretary, and Chairman Pro Tempore were all approved, I was suggested to serve as Sergeant in Arms. I almost pooped myself I was so honored. Essentially, this means that I’m the bailiff of the senate; so if anybody gets too buckwild during a filibuster, they’re gonna get filiBUSTED UPSIDE THEY HEADS BY ME. I just want to go ahead and make it public record that no one in a position of student government has approved this message, but let it be known that if you’re a hooligan and you come into the Goodrich Room at 7 pm on a Tuesday, I will come at you like a West Virginia Ninja with karate chops, kung-fu kicks, and high pitched screaming. I have made a fair warning, and Carl Sonnefeld, Representative of the Class of 2016, Sergeant in Arms, and yellow belt of tae-kwon-do makes good on his promises, especially when he’s off his medication… God bless America.
I’m pretty sure that sooner or later I’m going to need to start thinking before I speak, but the problem is, as a man with ADHD and an extensive vocabulary I rarely know what direction my sentence is going once its started flowing out of my mouth, and there’s no predicting how it will end. But, I would like to take this time, to give proper gratitude to all those who helped me get to where I am in a semi-thought out thank you note.
Dear Mom, thanks for telling me stories every night before bed, if it weren’t for those I don’t know if I would be the speaker I am today. Dad, thanks for being such an honest man. You are incapable of lying, and whether thats genuine integrity or an inability of the imagination, I don’t care. Leo (brother), thanks for ummm, well I’m pretty sure you’ve let me borrow a sock of yours once. That was pretty neat. And to my girlfriend, thanks for being there to support me emotionally, and to also laugh at my emotions; you did a lot of both.
Sergeant in Arms